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More or less, sister.
_Bacch._
Sequere hac igitur me intro in lectum, ut sedes lassitudinem. (108)
Come on in with me then, so as to lie down and get rested.
[EXEUNT.
I. 2.
Scene 2.
(_An hour has elapsed._)
ENTER _Pistoclerus_ PRECEDED BY SLAVES CARRYING PROVISIONS,
FLOWERS, ETC. _Lydus_ FOLLOWS.
_Lydus_
Iam dudum, Pistoclere, tacitus te sequor,
expectans quas tu res hoc ornatu geras. 110
namque ita me di ament, ut Lycurgus mihi quidem
videtur posse hic ad nequitiam adducier.
quo nunc capessis ted hinc adversa via
cum tanta pompa?
(_magisterially_) I have been following you in silence for
some time, Pistoclerus, waiting to see what you were about
with this gear. (_pointing to slaves and their hampers_)
Why, Lord love me, I do believe Lycurgus[A] himself could be
led astray here. Where are you betaking yourself now, going
away up the street with such a train?
[Footnote A: The Spartan reformer]
_Pistoc._
Huc.
(_pointing to Bacchis's door_) Here.
_Lydus_
Quid huc? quis istic habet?
What do you mean by "here"? Who lives there?
_Pistoc._
Amor, Voluptas, Venus, Venustas, Gaudium,
Iocus, Ludus, Sermo, Suavisaviatio.
(_rapturously_) Love, Delight, Venus, Grace, Joy, Jest,
Jollity, Chitchat, Kissykissysweetkins!
_Lydus_
Quid tibi commercist cum dis damnosissimis?
(_shocked_) What commerce have you with such
pernicious, pernicious deities?
_Pistoc._
Mali sunt homines, qui bonis dicunt male;
tu dis nec recte dicis: non aequom facis.
It takes a bad man to say bad things of the good; you're
blaspheming the gods: it's wrong.
_Lydus_
An deus est ullus Sauvisaviatio? 120
You mean to say there is a god Kissykissysweetkins?
_Pistoc._
An non putasti esse umquam? o Lyde, es barbarus;
quem ego sapere nimio censui plus quam Thalem,
is stultior es barbaro poticio,
qui tantus natu deorum nescis nomina.
You mean to say you didn't ever suppose there was? Oh,
Lydus, you are a barbarian! I fancied you were ever so much
wiser than Thales and here you are, sillier than a barbarian
babe in arms--your age, and not knowing the names of the
gods!
_Lydus_
Non hic placet mi ornatus.
I do not like this paraphernalia.
_Pistoc._
Nemo ergo tibi
haec apparavit: mihi paratum est quoi placet.
Well, nobody got it together for you: it was got for me, and
I do like it.
_Lydus_
Etiam me advorsus exordire argutias?
qui si decem habeas linguas, mutum esse addecet.
Are you actually commencing to make smart replies to me? You
whom it befits to be mute, even if you had ten tongues?
_Pistoc._
Non omnis aetas, Lyde, ludo convenit.
magis unum in mentemst mihi nunc, satis ut commode 130
pro dignitate opsoni haec concuret cocus.
We aren't schoolboys for ever, Lydus. The one thing
uppermost in my mind just now is that the cook may do as
creditable a job on these edibles as their excellence calls
for.
_Lydus_
Iam perdidisti te atque me atque operam meam,
qui tibi nequiquam saepe monstravi bene.
Ah, now you have thrown yourself away, and me, and my
labour,--me, who many a time gave you good advice, all in
vain!
_Pistoc._
Ibidem ego meam operam perdidi, ubi tu tuam:
tua disciplina nec mihi prodest nec tibi.
I threw away my own labour at the same place you did yours:
your system of instruction is no good to either of us.
_Lydus_
O praeligatum pectus.
Oh, what an obdurate breast!
_Pistoc._
Odiosus mihi es.
tace atque sequere, Lyde, me.
You're a bore! Keep still and come along, Lydus.
_Lydus_
Illuc sis vide,
non paedagogum iam me, sed Lydum vocat.
Now kindly look at that! He no longer calls me "Tutor,"
merely Lydus.
_Pistoc._
Non par videtur neque sit consentaneum,
cum haec qui emit intus sit et cum amica accubet 140
cumque osculetur et convivae alii accubent,
praesentibus illis paedagogus una ut siet.
It's not the proper thing, it would be out of place, when
the man who bought all this is inside there, and on a couch
with his mistress, kissing her--and other guests about--to
have his "Tutor" there in their presence.
_Lydus_
An hoc ad eas res opsonatumst, obsecro?
(_horrified_) In the name of heaven! These provisions
bought for such an orgy?
_Pistoc._
Sperat quidem animus: quo evenat dis in manust.
(_flippantly_) Well, of course man proposes and God
disposes.
_Lydus_
Tu amicam habebis?
You to have a mistress, you?
_Pistoc._
Cum videbis, tum scies.
(_enthusiastically_) Once you see her, then you'll know!
_Lydus_
Immo neque habebis neque sinam; i prorsum domum.
Never! You shall not have one; I will not allow it. (_taking
Pistoclerus by the arm and trying to lead him back_) Go home
this instant.
_Pistoc._
Omitte, Lyde, ac cave malo.
(_pulling away_) Leave me alone, Lydus, and (_threateningly_)
look out for trouble.
_Lydus_
Quid? cave malo?
What? "Look out for trouble?"
_Pistoc._
Iam excessit mi aetas ex magisterio tuo.
I'm too old for you to play the teacher these days.
_Lydus_
O barathrum, ubi nunc es? ut ego te usurpem lubens.[7] 149
vixisse nimio satiust iam quam vivere. (151)
magistron quemquam discipulum minitarier?[8]
(_tragically_) Oh, pit, where art thou now? How gladly would
I take thee for mine own! Far better that I had died than
lived for this! A pupil to threaten his teacher?[8]
_Pistoc._
Fiam, ut ego opinor, Hercules, tu autem Linus. (155)
It's a Hercules I'll be, I'm thinking, and you a Linus.[B]
[Footnote B: Linus was killed by his pupil, Hercules.]
_Lydus_
Pol metuo magis, ne Phoenix tuis factis fuam
teque ad patrem esse mortuom renuntiem.
Great heavens! I have more fear of your actions forcing me
to be a Phoenix[C] and to convey to your father the news of
your death.
[Footnote C: Phoenix, Achilles' preceptor, informed
Peleus, Achilles' father, of his son's death]
_Pistoc._
Satis historiarumst.
(_impatiently_) Enough of your tales!
_Lydus_
Hic vereri perdidit.
compendium edepol haud aetati optabile
fecisti, cum istanc nactu's inpudentiam. 160
occisus hic homo est. ecquid in mentem est tibi
patrem tibi esse?
He is lost to shame! Great heavens! You gained nothing that
does credit to your years in acquiring this impudence. The
creature is past redemption! Does it ever occur to you that
you have a father?
_Pistoc._
Tibi ego an tu mihi servos es?
Am I your servant, or you mine?
_Lydus_
Peior magister te istaec docuit, non ego.
nimio es tu ad istas res discipulus docilior,
quam ad illa quae te docui, ubi operam perdidi.[9] (165)
It was a wicked, wicked teacher gave you these lessons, not
I! You are a much apter pupil in matters of this sort than
in the subjects I lost my labour teaching you.[9]
_Pistoc._
Istactenus tibi, Lyde, libertas datast (168)
orationis. satis est. sequere hac me ac tace.
(_coolly_) I've let you rant to your heart's content, so
far, Lydus. Now drop it. Follow me this way and keep your
mouth shut.
[EXEUNT INTO THE HOUSE OF _Bacchis_, _Lydus_ RELUCTANTLY.
ACTVS II
ACT II
ENTER _Chrysalus_
_Chrys._
Erilis patria, salve, quam ego biennio, 170
postquam hinc in Ephesum abii conspicio lubens.
saluto te, vicine Apollo, qui aedibus
propinquos nostris accolis, veneroque te,
ne Nicobulum me sinas nostrum senem
prius convenire quam sodalem viderim
Mnesilochi Pistoclerum, quem ad epistulam
Mnesilochus misit super amica Bacchide.
(_jauntily_) Greetings, land of my--master! Land that I
behold with joy after departing hence to Ephesus two years
agone! (_turning toward altar of Apollo in front of house_)
Thee I greet, neighbour Apollo, who dost dwell adjacent to
our house, and I do implore thee not to let our old man
Nicobulus fall in with me ere I see Pistoclerus, the chum
of Mnesilochus, to whom Mnesilochus hath sent a letter about
his mistress, Bacchis.
II. 2.
Scene 2.
ENTER _Pistoclerus_ FROM HOUSE OF _Bacchis._
_Pistoc._
Mirumst me ut redeam te opere tanto quaesere,
qui abire hinc nullo pacto possim, si velim
ita me vadatum amore vinctumque adtines. 180
(_to Bacchis within_) It seems curious, your begging me
so hard to come back, when I couldn't possibly leave you if
I wanted, when you've got me so bound over to you, held fast
in the fetters of love.
_Chrys._
Pro di immortales, Pistoclerum conspicor.
o Pistoclere, salve.
Ye everlasting gods! It's Pistoclerus. What ho, sir! How are
you?
_Pistoc._
Salve, Chrysale.
And yourself, Chrysalus?
_Chrys._
Compendi verba multa iam faciam tibi
venire tu me gaudes: ego credo tibi,
hospitium et cenam pollicere, ut convenit
peregre advenienti: ego autem venturum adnuc
salutem tibi ab sodali solidam nuntio
rogabis me ubi sit: vivit.
Here's for saving you the trouble of a long speech, sir.
You're glad I've come: I believe you. You promise to do the
honours and dine me, the stranger from afar, and so you
should: for my part, I accept. I bring you cordial greetings
from your chum. You'll ask me where he is: alive.
_Pistoc._
Nempe recte valet?
(_eagerly_) And well, well, of course?
_Chrys._
Istuc volebam ego ex te percontarier.
That's what I wanted to ask you.
_Pistoc._
Qui scire possum?
How can I know?
_Chrys._
Nullus plus.
None better.
_Pistoc._
Quemnam ad modum? 190
Why, how so?
_Chrys._
Quia si illa inventa est, quam ille amat, recte valet,
si non inventa est, minus valet moribundusque est
animast amica amanti. si abest, nullus est;
si adest, res nullast. ipsus est--nequam et miser,
sed tu quid factitasti mandatis super?
Because if his ladylove has been discovered, he's perfectly
well: if she's not discovered, he's not so well; he's at
death's door. His love is life to a lover: if she's away,
he's lost; if she's there, his cash is lost, he himself
being--a poor good-for-nothing fool. But you--what have you
been doing about his commission?
_Pistoc._
Egon ut, quod ab illoc attigisset nuntius,
non impetratum id advenienti ei redderem?
regiones colere mavellem Acherunticas.
I? Am I the man to let him arrive and find the request his
messenger mentioned unattended to? I'd sooner pass my days
in the lower regions.
_Chrys._
Eho, an invenisti Bacchidem?
Hullo! You haven't found Bacchis?
_Pistoc._
Samiam quidem. 199,200
Yes, the Samian one.
_Chrys._
Vide quaeso, ne quis tractet illam indiligens;
scis tu ut confringi vas cito Samium solet.
(_affecting terror_) Heavens! do see that no one handles
that one carelessly; you know that Samian[D] ware, how
precious brittle it is.
[Footnote D: A fragile and (_The Captives_ 291) cheap kind
of pottery.]
_Pistoc._
Iamne ut soles?
The same old wag, eh?
_Chrys._
Dic ubi ea nunc est, obsecro.
Tell me where she is now, for heaven's sake.
_Pistoc._
Hic, exeuntem me unde aspexisti modo.
Here in the house you just saw me coming out of.
_Chrys._
Ut istuc est lepidum: proximae viciniae
habitat, ecquidnam meminit Mnesilochi?
Here's a go! Residing in the immediate neighbourhood! Well,
well! does she remember Mnesilochus?
_Pistoc._
Rogas?
immo unice unum plurimi pendit.
Remember him? More than that, she thinks he's the one and
only man on earth.
_Chrys._
Papae.
Oh pshaw!
_Pistoc._
Immo ut eam credis? misera amans desiderat.
More than that, what do you suppose her feelings are? The
poor affectionate thing is dying for him.
_Chrys._
Scitum istuc.
Quite charming!
_Pistoc._
Immo, Chrysale, em, non tantulum
umquam intermittit tempus quin eum nominet. 210
More than that, Chrysalus--look!--she doesn't let even so
much (_illustrating_) time pass without mentioning his name.
_Chrys._
Tanto hercle melior.
Humph! So much the better of her.
_Pistoc._
Immo--
More than that--
_Chrys._
Immo hercle abiero
potius.
(_bored_) More than that, by gad, I'd rather get out of
range!
_Pistoc._
Num invitus rem bene gestam audis eri?
You don't object to hearing that your master is in a
prosperous situation, do you?
_Chrys._
Non res, sed actor mihi cor odio sauciat.
etiam Epidicum, quam ego fabulam aeque ac me ipsum amo,
nullam aeque invitus specto, si agit Pellio.
sed Bacchis etiam fortis tibi visast?
It's not the situations that make me sick unto death; it's
your confounding acting. Even the _Epidicus_[E]--a comedy
I love as well as my own self--well, there's not a one I so
object to seeing, if Pellio's playing in it. But you really
consider Bacchis a fine lively one, do you?
[Footnote E: One of Plautus's plays.]
_Pistoc._
Rogas?
ni nanctus Venerem essem, hanc Iunonem dicerem.
Do you ask me that? If[F] I hadn't lighted on Venus myself,
I'd call her Juno.
[Footnote F: Venus and Juno not being sisters.]
_Chrys._
Edepol, Mnesiloche, ut hanc rem natam intellego,
quod ames paratumst: quod des inventost opus.
nam istic fortasse auro est opus.
(_half aside_) Well, by gad, Mnesilochus, as far as I can
understand the present situation, you've got your love: the
wherewithal is what you need to find. (_to Pistoclerus_)
For I dare say there is need of gold in the affair.
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